Maybe Cleverbot reads this

Ever click on 'New Post' and spend minutes just staring at the blank field, wondering what you should blog about? What your title should be?Whether you should choose the title first, or just skip to the post section? I decided to just start typing instead of procrastinating like I have been so long (and what does the content matter anyway - no one reads this blog. According to the chatbox on the right, in any case. I think they're all just spammers wanting me to go to their blog and join some bogus contest! It's depressing. I have a feeling the messages are all from autobots. Anyone know how to prevent this? You, autobot reader, can you tell me?)

Back to the task at hand. I'm just going to write the first thing that comes to mind, never mind if the language is rubbish and the content crappy. If I learnt anything from Nanowrimo, it's that the way to get over writer's block is to focus on quantity, not quality. So though my days of writing have long past, I am going to shake of the dust, scrape of the rust, and increase that word count.

I love salmon sushi. It's an awesome, awesome taste. A fish dish best served cold and raw, with a little slice of lemon. The taste...the taste... one couldn't say it's sweet, nor sour or bitter or salty. Unagi it is then. But ever so subtle -everything about the salmon sashimi is subtle. It's soft, slightly chewy texture, it's mysterious flavour that you can only notice if it's served cold, it's fishiness that's so different from that of the tuna or the butter fish. Salmon, just salmon.

Groupon deals are becoming less and less attractive. There are too many offers for mani-pedis, facials, massages (Swedish, Thai, infrared (?), stone, you name it), body slimming sessions, make-up classes... I think a good 70% of Groupon deals are targeted at beauty nuts. Where are all the good food deals? Where are all the fun activities? Don't you remember the time when you sold those RM6 ice-skating tickets, and I bought 20 of them, and had to use most of them myself because not all my friends wanted to go? We had such fun then, Groupon. Come on!

That's not to say I haven't used any of those beauty deals myself. What hurts is when you spend RM38 on a mani coupon only to find a RM30 offer for mani, pedi and massage a few days later. Scarred me so bad I haven't bought a mani-pedi coupon since. Well that and I decided it just wasn't worth it.

Facebook and Twitter seem to me like the easy way out for people with blogger's block. Instead of expanding on an idea or feeling, a blogger might be tempted to just polish it off in a one-liner on his/her status message and enjoy the satisfaction of almost immediate feedback. I don't like those things. It's like free samples of orange juice at the market - customers drink the small portions up because it' free, then walk away and forget about it. At least, I do. If your audience is reading your stuff just because it's on their wall, then maybe you should find a different audience.

Like these autobots. At least they came here off their own accord. I didn't have to post anything on their walls. So I don't get any human feedback. No gifts from Cafeworld, no pokes, no likes. No matter. These lovely autobots keep up the activity on this site even when I'm gone.

So thank you autobots. Any of you know Cleverbot personally?

Off to study,

Jenna

Powerless

I've been reading AW Tozer's God's Pursuit of Man, and have been pleasantly though uncomfortably surprised. I expected a dry classic, and in fact I confess that I bought it because it was a dry classic. I thought only of increasing my doctrinal knowledge, but have now been challenged to seek a knowledge of God - a spiritual knowledge that Tozer asserts cannot be known without the Holy Spirit.

A spiritual knowledge? Tozer is right when he says that the conservative church has become fearful of an emphasis on the Holy Spirit. I certainly am, and it took a 'dry classic' to lure me into a contemplation of what it really means to be imbued with the Holy Spirit.

I have a niggling feeling that I am not. And if it is true that I am not, then it is certain that I cannot really know God,

11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. ¹² What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. (1 Corinthians 2:11-13)

This could be the reason I constantly fall into 'dry spells', periods of apathy and a lack of active faith bordering on unbelief. This could be why I am unable to understand those who have an emotional relationship with God, why I am so skeptical of phrases like "God told me to...". It could also be the reason behind my continual slavery to sin.

Are Christians supposed to be powerless?

Maybe Later

I should really do it now, but I'm pretty sleepy and I'll just fall asleep anyway. And if I sleep now, then I'll be refreshed tomorrow and be able to give it my full attention. If I do it now, it's just going to be half-hearted anyway, poorly done. And I'm supposed to give it my best, right? I'm late for class again. No time now. Maybe later, after lab? I'm sure I'm not expected to forgo my lunch break for this. I should find a quiet spot to do it, and there's none available now. It'll interrupt my study slot, and flow's important. I should spend these two hours studying straight, then when I get home after exercising I'll have done all I need to do and can get down to it. Great, I didn't get to finish studying, blogging kinda distracted me. Never mind, I'll do those chapters tomorrow. Swimming's so tiring, but so refreshing. Dinner, calories? Metabolism rate's higher. Home at last. I should really do it now, but I'm pretty sleepy and I'll just fall asleep anyway. You understand, right? I'll talk to you tomorrow, I promise.

Vicious Cycle

I really don't get why Blinky hates me so much. Pinky and Clyde, they're a few pixels short of a byte, if you know what I mean, but Blinky? That creep has determination. He has wiles. And he's using them both on me. And why? Just because I go after those little round dots? He don't need them. He's got a home. When a smiley's got no home he ain't got nothing else to do, ya know? A bloke's gotta eat.

It's the way of the world, isn't it? That those evil little pixlets are blessed with regeneration, while an emoticon like me is vulnerable to their every touch, and whose only source of nourishment exists only in their lair. Inkey would understand if she wasn't on their side.

It's a vicious cycle. A vicious cycle.

Something tells me that if I keep on in this cycle I'll eventually reach nirvana. 256 levels of nirvana, they say. Or it's game over for me.

The Amicable Knots

The following was written on Oct 29, 2008. A rescued rhyme from my discarded blog.

The Amicable Knots

A knot said to a knot one day,
You're looking awfully loose,
Was that you I saw
With the knot next door
While I talked with the knot on the noose?

The knot replied
Yes.

A pause or two paused
The wind blew by
Blew the knot on the noose
And the knot on the loose
Swung up and thought it could fly.

The knot next door came
Next door for a game
Came next door, came next door
Just to spend

An amicable time
With the knot that could rhyme
And the knot on the noose and
The knot that was loose
And the wind that blew through the chimes.

The four knots ate tea and cereal
And discussed fleas and material
One was itchy and rope
One was made out of soap
One was old and brittle and dry

One was made out of thread
It need hardly be said that
This wasn't the one that goes over the head.

The amicable knots
Talked about poetry and sports
And cows and pots
And whirls and dots
And counted their knots
Till the knot next door
Fell asleep on the floor
While the others came undone
As down went the sun

How many knots left? Said I
It said "One".

J.L.

The Dusty Bear

The following was written on Oct 25, 2006. A rescued rhyme from my discarded blog.

The Dusty Bear

O dusty bear, come down from there,
and have a drink or two.
Your button eye hangs by a thread,
You're languishing above my bed.
Won't you, bear, bear your sorrows where
The sun can shine on you?

The dusty bear
Returned my stare
It's unhappy eye
Looked down as I
Inquired.
It shook its head
Above my bed
It was, it said
quite frankly, oh, dead
Tired.

It pointed to my sewing kit
I asked what I could do for it
It pointed to the dangling thread
I eyed its eye as it replied
Please sew it.
How can a bear bear
Its sleepiness where
Only one eye shuts, not the other?
How can a bear
'Come down from there'
When one button can't see another?

I took a needle, I cut some thread
I attached the button to its head
It looked quite well
It felt well too!
And jumped down
Like a kangaroo.

-j.l-

Jenna

6. Sausage Bits

The following was written on May 15, 2008. A rescued story from my discarded blog.

"I-aiiii'm not finished," continued the sheep. "Thirdly, you should know better, Maggy Donut, than to speak in rhyme to sheep. We don't like it."

"Wooly-de-Dooly!" cried Maggy Donut. "It's you! I'd recognise your indignation anywhere, even if your wool is black!"

"Harumph," harumphed Wooly-de-Dooly. Four black paws bounded up to Wooly-de-Dooly and an invisible tongue licked its ears affectionately.

"Alllll right," baa-ed the sheep. "Whaddaya want? And be quick about it. I've got a hoovedecure soon."

6. Sausage Bits

"This is Quantis," said Maggy Donut. "Quantis, meet Wooly-de-Dooly,"

"Ni-i-ce to meeeet you," baa-ed Wooly-de-Dooly. "Love your wool colour. I had that shade of brown last summer,"

"Thanks," said Quantis. "It's natural."

There was a pause. Maggy Donut cleared her throat. Twiggedo tried to exchange a glance with Quantis and wasn't surprised when she didn't see it.

"Wooly-de-Dooly, do you have any idea where we can find The Big Fat Duchess of Yolk?"

"Whaddaya want to see her for?" asked Wooly-de-Dooly. "She's cracked. Eggshells in all the wrong places. Why, last week my wool-dresser was telling me that she spent the whole morning looking for sausages. Sausages, I tell you! She set her entire herd of pigs through the strainer and you should have seen the result! Big fat sausages running around the fields! Small sausages getting stuck between your hooves! And the oil-stains on the pavement..."

"Do tell us where she is," begged Quantis. " My father's missing and we've got to find him! Humpty Dumpty said she knows something about it,"

"Well, he never actually said that," interjected Maggy Donut. "But yes, Wooly-de-Dooly, do tell us where to find her."

"Aaa-lright," said Wooly-de-Dooly. "Just follow the sausage bits. She can't be very far away."

"Thanks, Wooly-de-Dooly," said Maggy Donut. "Enjoy your hoovedecure." She scratched Wooly-de-Dooly behind the ears affectionately, and the big black sheep started trotting off into the vibrant horizon.

And so our adventuresome trio started out on a search through La-La Land, following a trail of scattered sausage bits. Some sausage bits were easy to find, as they were lying about conspicuously on the path. Other bits were a bit tricky as they were still wriggling and therefore changed position constantly. Quantis had to stop Twiggedo from chasing them down sausage-burrows and up green crayoned-trees.

Along the way, they met all sorts of crazy characters. They met the Spiralling Caterpillar of Greenery, who tried to hypnotise them by spiralling around in front of their eyes. Twiggedo took care of that threat by having no visible eyes for the Caterpillar to focus on. With one swipe of a black paw, the Spiralling Caterpillar was sent spiralling into the greenery.

Once they were startled to find a penguin popping up from the earth right in front of them.

"How are you doing, my monochromatic friend?" asked the penguin in smooth Mafia patter. "Where is this?"

"La-la Land," supplied Quantis helpfully, seeing the Twiggedo was either unable or unwilling to answer. (It occured to her at this point that while she had heard Twiggedo warble, she had not heard Twiggedo enunciate.)

The penguin smacked an angry wing on the earth. "Too far east! Come on fellas, let's get out of here!" There was a sound of a body of penguins diving deeper under the earth. Turning to the three of them, the penguin waved his wings in a suave and dangerous manner. "You didn't see anything..."

With that, the penguin disappered.

Shrugging, the three of them continued on the sausage trail. All this time the sheer colour of the landscape escaped their notice. There were many distracting and curious figures walking the land. Huge purple and yellow butterflies hovered about two-dimensional flowers, crudely scribbled out against a background of childish alphabets. Every once in a while a house would fall out of the sky, squashing witches with red-and-white striped stockings.

More than once, Maggy Donut,Quantis and Twiggedo would be stopped by a clownish policeman for breaking one of the rules in La-la Land. (Don't walk on the water, don't cross when the zebras are walking, don't be oblivious to the wackiness of the landscape.) Fortunately, the policemen were easily appeased with sausage bits.

They found the Big Fat Duchess of Yolk busy ordering her minions (little chessmen) to polish her merry-go-round. A gigantic merry-go-round, with insane-looking horses bobbing on gleaming golden poles and carnival music out of It, was spinning round and round in time to the music. Long, flowing white streamers with what looked like blood stains flowed against the wind, attached to tall iron poles. Nearby stood a stall and a sign which read,

"THE BIG FAT DUCHESS OF YOLK PROUDLY PRESENTS

AN AMAZING DISPLAY OF CARNIVALRY!

AN EVENT NOT TO BE MISSED!

DO NOT PRESUME TO MISS IT!

Cautiously, Maggy Donut, Quantis and Twiggedo approached the Big Fat Duchess of Yolk.++